The Bittersweet Spot

I made it through Mother’s Day. It doesn’t sound like much of an accomplishment, but compared to the previous years, it’s pretty impressive. No tears, no theatrics. Just brunch, time with family, shopping, and takeout for dinner. I skipped church and I’m not sorry because I’m not ready to push myself quite that hard yet. … Continue reading The Bittersweet Spot

Longing for Egypt

My mom used to love this song by Building 429, “Where I Belong.” One of the last videos we have of her leading worship at church was her singing that song. Helen Keller used to sing it on the praise team all the time, and Mom loved it. It’s about not fitting anywhere. It’s about … Continue reading Longing for Egypt

Snow

I am not a huge fan of snow. Sure, as a kid I got pretty excited about it because of school being cancelled and because I live in The South where snow is a novelty. As a healthcare worker I learned to resent it a little because snow days didn’t apply to me, they just … Continue reading Snow

Ozurie

For as long as I can remember, there has been this odd tension in my soul, as if the space that I inhabit is neither here nor there, where I instead am perpetually floating in this moment that occurs between the already and the not yet, as if someone snapped a photo of me jumping … Continue reading Ozurie

Ledges: What No One Tells You About Depression, Anxiety, and Grief

I used to think life was following a map. That it was long stretches of dirt roads, trails snaking through mountains and valleys, occasionally approaching rivers to find the bridge was out. Then, I  started to think of it as more of a maze, as if upon entering the teenage years, you’re unceremoniously dumped at … Continue reading Ledges: What No One Tells You About Depression, Anxiety, and Grief

Vacation

This weekend we did that thing parents aren’t supposed to do and kept the kids out of school for two days to go on vacation. We went to our home away from home, Isle of Palms. Every morning, I got up and drove to Starbucks because I am who I am, and I had to … Continue reading Vacation

The Power of Pain

I was in a second grade science class when I first learned the basics of how we experience pain. The teacher was explaining how we’re lucky our bodies are equipped with nerves because if they weren’t, we couldn’t feel pain. At the time, in my 8-year-old limited understanding of the world, I thought, “Why does … Continue reading The Power of Pain

The Fourth Watch

Last week I was listening to a podcast and the speaker was discussing one of my favorite miracles in the Bible, when Jesus and Peter walked on water. A phrase caught my attention— “the fourth watch of the night.” That’s one of those that we hear in the more traditional translations of the Bible that … Continue reading The Fourth Watch

Devotional: Hopelessness and the Treasures of Darkness

Reading: Isaiah 45:3 Do you know what hopelessness feels like? Not momentary, it’s dark now but the sun will shine again discouragement, but true hopelessness? It feels like a bowling ball sitting in your chest. A heaviness that makes it hard to breathe sometimes. The fatigue of knowing that when you go to sleep you … Continue reading Devotional: Hopelessness and the Treasures of Darkness

Weekly Devotion: Give Back Everything that Belongs to Her

2 Kings 8:6 My moods lately have been so unbelievably unpredictable. Some days I wake up full of hope and excitement, looking forward into the clear blue sky of possibilities, and other days I wake up and feel like I can’t see beyond my next heartbeat. The cycle of loss, grief, survival, repeat has drained … Continue reading Weekly Devotion: Give Back Everything that Belongs to Her

Marco Polo

When I was a kid, there was never any question of whether or not I would have someone to play with, or something to do on the weekends. The reason for this? I have an unusual number of cousins. Especially in the summer, every Saturday we knew we would either be at Carowinds or going … Continue reading Marco Polo