This blog is written by guest blogger Anna Morgan, a wife, mom, writer, and singer with great hair.

“Silence is golden unless you have a toddler. Then silence is suspicious.” I have always agreed with the quote. Kids hitting each other with baseball bats? Eh, builds character. One of them banging pots and pans together while the other jumps off the couch? Well at least they are off of their electronics. The house suddenly becomes terrifyingly quiet? Now it is time to panic. Well, I do not agree with that quote anymore. Nothing will ever beat “Mommy, Mason has poop on his hands!” Followed by gagging sounds and the horrified cries of a poop fingered child. 

Now before we dive into this story, let me first offer a little back ground. I have three children. Three “Mama’s Boys” at that. They are attached to my hip and follow me around relentlessly. Also, two of them sleep in my bed with no sign of stopping any time soon. That being said, it is very difficult to be able to have mommy and daddy time, if you catch my drift. So sometimes you just do what you gotta do and you turn on a movie, lock the door, and pray that the kids don’t kill each other in the meantime. And before I get all the comments saying “Anna, don’t you know what causes babies?” or “Don’t you want to get snipped already?” Yes I do, in fact, know what causes babies. I didn’t get married to just sit around a fire holding hands and singing Kumbaya.

Well it was one of the rare times that we could sneak away and low and behold come the cries of the children down the hallway. “Mommy, Mason has poop on his hands!” Insert horrified toddler scream followed by gag. Nothing ruins the mood quite like those words. In this case, silence would have been a lot less  suspicious.

We open the door to find that Mason, the two-year-old, had stuck his hand in his diaper, for some unknown reason, and had gotten a little more than he bargained for. This was followed by the dog trying to chase him and eat it (insert my own gag here), me yelling at Mason not to touch anything, and a shower that resulted in Mason almost throwing up because of his gagging. 

The moral of this story is that if you are a parent to toddlers, or even a new parent to a baby that will eventually be a toddler, do not buy into the “silence is suspicious” nonsense. I can promise you that silence is much preferred to “Mommy, Mason has poop on his fingers!”