“I only need one thing in Target,” and other lies I tell myself

I did that thing you’re not supposed to do. I let myself believe the lie that I was going to Target for one thing: a birthday gift. OK, two things if I’m being honest. I was buying a gift card and I could have gotten that at Walgreens, but I wanted to get the new Rachel Hollis book too, so I went to Target. 

I’m one of those women who other people make fun of because I’m the cliche— the one who says she’s going in for one or two things and manages to spend $105 dollars on things I didn’t know I needed until Target told me I needed them. If you ever wondered, “Who would buy that?” It’s me. I am who. 

Anyway, within the first five minutes, I found the gift card. But I still needed to get the Rachel Hollis book. The problem was, that all of the aisles were chaotic because it was Saturday afternoon, and it looked like Black Friday in there. I guess there must have been some aggressive book club members who ransacked the place. So I had a little trouble finding the book. 

Since I had to look through so many places, I did manage to find what I like to call “Target Poetry.” In case you’re not aware, Target has excellent poetry selections. I mean, I’m not someone who goes to Amazon and browses the poetry section. As I’m sure you’ve gathered by now, I do like Rilke. I’ve also purchased “Leaves of Grass” by Walt Whitman. And I hold a special place in my heart for the scene in Dennis the Menace where Mrs. Wilson quotes “Wynken, Blynken, and Nod” to get Dennis to go to sleep. That is the extent of my poetry knowledge. But these books suck me in, man. Target is how I discovered the wonder of Atticus and Tyler Knott Gregson and these gems led me to find Christopher Poindexter on the internet. 

So I found this book, “Confessions of Her” by Cindy Cherie. I was sucked in by the first page because I felt it in my soul, and I decided it was the Lord’s will for me to get this book. The problem is, that I usually only buy Target poetry when the mental stability is taking a little hit, so today when I had the book out my office, My Friend says, “What are you reading?” And I say “Target Poetry,” and My Friend says, “Why are you in a mood?” 

Just let me enjoy the beauty of the words Friend. That’s all I have to say.

Then, the next shelf over, there was the new TD Jakes book. Before my mom died, she read (probably multiple times) “The Crushing” by TD Jakes. I have no idea what this book is about. Presumably women who pray based on the title. But the truth is, I bought it because if my mom was alive, she would’ve bought it. 

So then me and my two new friends, Target Poetry and Bishop Jakes, rounded the corner, and there, on the end cap with all the other new releases, was Rachel Hollis. So I scooped her up too. 

At this point, I should get special points for avoiding the candy aisle, the Chip and Joanna Gaines experience, and the make up section. I was making a beeline for the greeting cards, determined not to waste anymore time or money. But, as some of you already know, I have this quirk where, if I’m having a rough day, I might go through all the cards until I find the ones that make me giggle, and then buy them for no other reason than that they bring me joy. And I definitely did that. And now, I share them with you. If you don’t think these are funny, probably we can’t be friends:

Corny? Yes. But didn’t you smile?

Because Bob Ross. That’s why. And he’s throwing shade which is hilarious.

Hee hee!

Saved the best for last!

And so, yes. I went to Target for 2 things. And I left having spent $101.11. And you know what? I’m not even sorry. It made me happy, even if only for a little while. And in a world with so much sad, I choose not to put a price on that. 

One thought on ““I only need one thing in Target,” and other lies I tell myself

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s