On Christmas Eve, I read the most perfect thing. It was a daily meditation from a collection of Henri Nouwen’s writings, You Are the Beloved. It was called, “A Prayer.” I’m gonna be honest— in devotion books and daily readings I usually skip over the holidays because I expect them to be so cliche. Like … Continue reading 2021, Henri Nouwen’s Prayer, and God With Us
For as long as I can remember, there has been this odd tension in my soul, as if the space that I inhabit is neither here nor there, where I instead am perpetually floating in this moment that occurs between the already and the not yet, as if someone snapped a photo of me jumping … Continue reading Ozurie
Reading: John 11:17-40 So here’s a little truth about family dynamics as it relates to birth order. Well, at least in my family. The oldest kid is the rule follower, the one who tries to keep the peace, and the bossy one. Bursts into tears when they think someone is mad at them, constantly strives … Continue reading Well There You Go: A Sort of Devotion
I used to think life was following a map. That it was long stretches of dirt roads, trails snaking through mountains and valleys, occasionally approaching rivers to find the bridge was out. Then, I started to think of it as more of a maze, as if upon entering the teenage years, you’re unceremoniously dumped at … Continue reading Ledges: What No One Tells You About Depression, Anxiety, and Grief
Do you know about Pavlov? The scientist who did the research with the bell and the dogs? He looked at conditioned responses (ones that we are taught) vs. unconditioned responses (ones that are automatic). He would ring a bell, and then give a treat to the dog after every bell, and he measured their saliva … Continue reading What it’s like to wait for a liver transplant, part 4
Monday night I went to see my therapist. She is surely on the path to sainthood. Or possibly alcoholism depending upon how she handles her stressors because I am a lot, and after last week, I was in rare form. I held it together for the weekend and did the things I was supposed to … Continue reading What It’s Like to Wait for a Liver Transplant, Part 3
Reading: Numbers 11:6 I have a confession to make. Sometimes I have these blessings that come my way, but I am not happy about them. I decide that God must have misheard me because He did not send what I asked for. Instead of recognizing that in His wisdom and sovereignty, He is sending me … Continue reading Weekly Devotion: All We See is Manna
2 Kings 8:6 My moods lately have been so unbelievably unpredictable. Some days I wake up full of hope and excitement, looking forward into the clear blue sky of possibilities, and other days I wake up and feel like I can’t see beyond my next heartbeat. The cycle of loss, grief, survival, repeat has drained … Continue reading Weekly Devotion: Give Back Everything that Belongs to Her
I have been moping. I have been fighting against the things in my life that I don't like. I have been sulking. In the process, I stumbled across this devotion I wrote a while back, and it was so encouraging to me. It's from Genesis 9:28. In the HCSB it says “Now Noah lived 350 … Continue reading Weekly Devotion: Then He Lived
The water is moving faster today, lake currents driven by the wind and the temperature change and the recent rainfall that we thought might drown us all. It was comforting to me. Comforting to see a visual depiction of how I feel. On the outside, I go to work and I come home and I … Continue reading Ramblings of an Anxious Mind
Setting Up Stones 