Homesickness and Red Sea Moments

I’ve always struggled with homesickness. As early as kindergarten, maybe even before that, I remember overwhelming anxiety at being away from home. I cried every single day of kindergarten, first grade, most of second grade, brief reprieve in third grade, and then it finally stopped. The crying, I mean. The homesickness never really improved. TheContinue reading “Homesickness and Red Sea Moments”

What it’s like to wait for a liver transplant, part 4

Do you know about Pavlov? The scientist who did the research with the bell and the dogs? He looked at conditioned responses (ones that we are taught) vs. unconditioned responses (ones that are automatic). He would ring a bell, and then give a treat to the dog after every bell, and he measured their salivaContinue reading “What it’s like to wait for a liver transplant, part 4”

What It’s Like to Wait for a Liver Transplant, Part 3

Monday night I went to see my therapist. She is surely on the path to sainthood. Or possibly alcoholism depending upon how she handles her stressors because I am a lot, and after last week, I was in rare form. I held it together for the weekend and did the things I was supposed toContinue reading “What It’s Like to Wait for a Liver Transplant, Part 3”

Fight or Flight, Roots and Wings

Yesterday Other Half and I took a day trip. Not far, in case we got another transplant call (spoiler alert: we didn’t). We rode up to Asheville to go back to the pen store I like so much (Origami Ink. Go there. You won’t be sorry), had some lunch at a bakery that I lovedContinue reading “Fight or Flight, Roots and Wings”

What it’s like to wait for a liver transplant, part 2

This week has been not my favorite maybe. Of all the transplant weeks, it might have been the hardest so far, and also the most uplifting. It’s a toss-up. Here’s some things you should know about transplants. First, the way you get one is to be so sick that without one, you would die. Essentially,Continue reading “What it’s like to wait for a liver transplant, part 2”

Current Mood: Drunk Guy on a Roller Coaster

If I had to describe my current mood to an innocent bystander, I would call it drunk guy on a roller coaster.  I’ve been up and down, back and forth, on many things in recent months. I’m not the kind of person who looks forward to change or thinks a fresh start is anything closeContinue reading “Current Mood: Drunk Guy on a Roller Coaster”

How the Monkeys Saved My Birthday

I woke up in Asheville on my birthday. A few months ago after we stayed here, Other Half asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday, and I said, “Go back to the Grove Park.” I didn’t even want a present. I just wanted to sit on this beautiful rock porch (not nearlyContinue reading “How the Monkeys Saved My Birthday”

Hiding in Other People’s Stories

Here’s something I’ve recently discovered about myself: When I am sad or overwhelmed or afraid or any other emotion that would cause me to gravitate towards comfort, I watch my favorite old movies or shows. I’ve never really done this before that I’m aware of, but lately my entire family is forced to tolerate thisContinue reading “Hiding in Other People’s Stories”