Current Mood: Drunk Guy on a Roller Coaster

If I had to describe my current mood to an innocent bystander, I would call it drunk guy on a roller coaster.  I’ve been up and down, back and forth, on many things in recent months. I’m not the kind of person who looks forward to change or thinks a fresh start is anything closeContinue reading “Current Mood: Drunk Guy on a Roller Coaster”

How the Monkeys Saved My Birthday

I woke up in Asheville on my birthday. A few months ago after we stayed here, Other Half asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday, and I said, “Go back to the Grove Park.” I didn’t even want a present. I just wanted to sit on this beautiful rock porch (not nearlyContinue reading “How the Monkeys Saved My Birthday”

Hiding in Other People’s Stories

Here’s something I’ve recently discovered about myself: When I am sad or overwhelmed or afraid or any other emotion that would cause me to gravitate towards comfort, I watch my favorite old movies or shows. I’ve never really done this before that I’m aware of, but lately my entire family is forced to tolerate thisContinue reading “Hiding in Other People’s Stories”

What It’s Like to Wait for a Transplant

My dad needs a liver transplant. He has been on the transplant list for a long time now, what actually feels like forever, but is actually just since July 2019-ish. My family and I have gone through the excitement, the hope, the fear. And then a lot of other things happened that seemed not fairContinue reading “What It’s Like to Wait for a Transplant”

Grief, Fear, and New Beginnings

This week I had some things to do, exploring new opportunities, trying to figure out what I’m going to be when I grow up, or maybe more accurately, who I’m going to be when I grow up. When I’m on the verge of something new, there’s always this double-edged sword that sticks itself straight throughContinue reading “Grief, Fear, and New Beginnings”

Ramblings of an Anxious Mind

The water is moving faster today, lake currents driven by the wind and the temperature change and the recent rainfall that we thought might drown us all. It was comforting to me. Comforting to see a visual depiction of how I feel. On the outside, I go to work and I come home and IContinue reading “Ramblings of an Anxious Mind”

Dark Days and Last Words

There’s an episode of Gilmore Girls where one day, Luke just goes missing for a day, and Lorelai was looking for him everywhere, trying to figure out where he was hiding, and finally she discovers that he is having a “dark day.” The day every year when he stops living his normal life because it’sContinue reading “Dark Days and Last Words”

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Here’s something I’ve never understood: Why are we so obsessed with asking kids, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Seriously. Have you ever thought about that? Favorite color— sure. Favorite cartoon— absolutely. Favorite parent— doesn’t instill great social sensitivity skills, but I’ll allow it. But why do we ask them whatContinue reading “What do you want to be when you grow up?”